It started with a thing happening recently, then it made me realise something and finally I’m still sitting with it because I’m not sure what else to do.

The plan was only ever to go and work abroad for a ‘bit’. Though, to say it was a plan is, perhaps, giving it a little too much structure. So I upped and left the country at 8 weeks notice makes me think two things. In any case, I’m coming up on my 10th year out of the UK somehow.

To come back to my point, I realized that all the posts and articles of how lockdown/quarantine suddenly felt a lot like I sometimes feel. That living so far away feels a lot like being trapped at home. That separation. I have my life here but even after all this time I still feel like I yearn for my life back in the UK. Relationships maintained through chat apps particularly for me. Especially as I’ve been one to ‘call and chat’, Mum excluded of course.

Today is my brother’s and Jenn’s birthday and again it is just hard not being closer.